My Boyfriend's Dirty Talk Grosses Me Out

I've always identified as straight, but I'm dating a new guy and I slept with a female friend before we got together. I'm worried it'll weird him out or make him question my sexuality, so I'd rather keep it quiet, but he's super into being open about past hookups. Should I share this with him?This isn't about "should"; this is about "want." If you don't want to tell him, don't. You have a right to privacy. If you do, then go ahead and shout "I Kissed a Girl" from the rooftops. What's the worst that could happen? If he's homophobic or jealous, you don't want to date a douchebag anyway. And TBH, hearing of your hookup will turn most guys on.

I always wind up being the one who plans out my dates with the guys I meet on apps. How do I get the guy to make the plan for a change?Easy. Just propose the date and time, and when he confirms, tell him, "I picked when, now you pick where…" He can't say no. If he pesters you with questions about what you want to do, tell him you have to log off but he should text you where to meet. That's your ace card!

I'm smart — but I just started dating a girl with a Harvard PhD. I can't help feeling insecure, even though she's so cool about it. How do I stop feeling like it's crazy for her to be with me? Why wouldn't she be with you? If this Ivy League nerd is such a genius, she knows that a person is more than a pedigree. So trust her. She could have dated another egghead, but her big brain calculated that she should date you. Remember that romantic chemistry is such a mysterious science that nobody can give you a PhD in it — not even Harvard.

I'm about to turn 30, and I am so over dating guys for fun. I want my next guy to be someone I can get serious with.  Is there a way to put that out there on a first date without chasing men away? As someone who's been scared off by a first date, I can confirm that the first-date fear factor is real. It freaked me out when a near-total stranger told me her plans for her dream wedding before our food arrived! So ease into it. First, decide if you even like the guy (which may take a few dates anyway). Then suggest what you're looking for, but don't give a State of the Date address. Casually mention that you're not into casual dating. You don't have to make the first date serious just because you want a serious relationship, but you can lay the foundation.

After spending more than two days together, my BF and I get sick of each other. We both just like alone time. Will we ever be able to move in together?  
If you prefer living alone, don't let peer pressure push you into cranky cohabitation. If you really want to live with him, consider a two-bedroom. Plenty of healthy couples simply need some space, and you might be one of them. But if you think you're just not that compatible, you owe it to yourself to explore that doubt.

My boyfriend's dirty talk grosses me out. How do I tell him without discouraging him?He won't know what kind of pillow talk turns you on unless you tell him. Just as you'd tell him during sex to go "harder," tell him what you'd like to hear him say (that he "wants you" rather than he "wants to eff the bleep out of you," for instance). And if what you'd like most is silence, tell him you're so turned on by his body, you don't need anything else. That's all he'll need to hear.

Send your guys-related dilemma to askhimanything@cosmopolitan.com.

This story was originally published as "Ask Him Any-Thing" in the December issue ofCosmopolitan. Pick up the December 2015 issue on newsstands or click here to subscribe to the digital edition! 

Resource: cosmopolitan